So far in this blog series, The Journey from Fear to Bold Asking™, I’ve talked about many of the components that are important to a successful fundraising ask:  the power of connecting with people in meaningful ways; leading with passion;  being willing and able to tell your story; developing and using good active listening (questioning) skills; and building a well-honed team to support the journey.   

You may want to take a few minutes to brush up on these past blogs, and the toolkits that I’ve included, before diving into this one. 

The final three blogs of this series will focus on Starting the Conversation; Boldly, Making the Ask; and finally Saying Thank You, Abundantly! 

So, let’s get started with the conversation, because that’s where it all begins.   

On a recent blustery Sunday morning during the New Year holiday, my three-year old grandson, Walker, and I pulled out a couple of board games.  We enjoy hanging out together, but on this particular single-digit temp. morning, I was eager to find indoor activities that would be fun and occupy my very active grandson for a while.  Little did I know that our morning games would become a lesson in cooperative work and, together, winning!  As I read the instructions for several games to Walker, the same theme became apparent:  the object of the games was not just winning.  The real objective was learning how to cooperate and collaborate. 

Listening is one of our most important life skills.  It can also be one of the most pleasant:  a baby’s first cry, the finale of Beethoven’s 5th, birds on a quiet walk. Think about it; how often do you truly listen, or just tune out all the background noise? I’ve certainly spent a lot of time walking down the streets of New York, trying to shut out the sounds of sirens. Unfortunately, more oftentimes than not, listening is also one of our most underdeveloped skills.  How much is missed, or is misunderstood, because we fail to truly engage, ask questions and listen!  In philanthropy, this can be the kiss of death to developing authentic relationships and meaningful donor engagement. 

Southerners are great story tellers. 

Now, that’s not to say that others are not.  But, I’ve found that southerners who know how to tell a really good story have an almost innate ability to draw people in and move them.  They weave a web with strong personal connection, oftentimes including family and community, and then add a touch of intrigue and suspense, and almost always inject a little, sometimes, wry humor.  As someone who moved to the south as an adult, I marveled at the affects of storytelling.   Of course, we’ve all known the great southern story-tellers from Faulkner to Tennessee Williams to Twain, Harper Lee and Margaret Mitchell, to name just a few, along with the more recent writer-historian Jon Meacham and my neighbor, Ann Patchett.  They are the giants.

But, we don’t have to be literary giants to tell a good, authentic story that connects people to our cause, our hopes and our visions.

I recently met a young woman in Greece who had started a successful activity and tourism business (Grecopaths) after the economic crises devastated Greece in 2008. I was fortunate to spend the day biking, hiking and kayaking with her and my husband. Like many young people, she was left with few resources after 2008 and virtually no work.  Today, her business is thriving with several business partners.  She had gone from a struggling desk job to riding bikes and hiking with guests through the breath-taking vistas of her homeland. 

Her enthusiasm was contagious. It helped propel us and our bikes to countless hilltops.  Midway through this exhilarating day, I asked Stavroula, what led her to create this thriving new business. 

“Passion” she said. 

Do you believe deeply in your organization’s mission? 

“What?”, you say.  Whether a board member, CEO or development staff, of course, you believe deeply in your organization’s mission.

Now, how do you feel about fundraising for that organization?

I ask this question at the beginning of our  Bold Asking™  workshops.  The answers are enlightening, but rarely surprising! 

Many years ago, when I was just starting out as a development officer, someone innocently asked me, “How do you do what you do? I could never ask anyone for money!”  Over the years, I’ve become accustomed to this question.  I even enjoy it!  But, at the time, I was stunned.  I felt like my chosen profession was, well, rude. 

Who are your most important philanthropic partners, the most critical relationships outside the internal team?  I’ve frequently heard development officers, and even CEO’s ask, “Where do I start?”  Your board!  They are among your most, if not the most, critical stakeholders.  Yes, your patients, students, alumni, and community may well be stakeholders.  But, the organization will undoubtedly stumble, at worst fail or certainly not reach its potential without a board that believes in the organization, is passionate about its mission and future, and understands and even embraces its important role in philanthropy. 

A past blog (Design Partnerships:  What do your philanthropic partnerships look like?) focused on the Chief Development Officers’ role in creating powerful internal partnerships to support philanthropy.  In this article, I want to turn our focus to the CEO’s unique role in building effective philanthropic partnerships.  Although this blog is written with healthcare institutions in mind, many of the concepts may creatively be applied to other nonprofit institutions.

The great late anthropologist, Margaret Meade, made the case for the power of partnerships and people working together years go in her famous statement, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."  Certainly, philanthropy is no exception.